The Battle of Good versus Evil in the PC Age
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days. Finally they agreed to set up a test that would run two hours and then judge who does the better job."So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job.
About ten minutes before their time was up, lightning flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured, and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.
The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them rebooted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours.
Satan observed this and became very irate: "Wait! You must have cheated! How did you do that?"
Jesus smiled and said: "Jesus saves."
A crash reduces your expensive computer to a simple stone.
First snow, then silence. This thousand dollar screen dies so beautifully.
The Tao that is seen is not the true Tao, until You bring fresh toner
A file that big? It might be very useful. But now it is gone.
With searching comes loss and the presence of absence: "My novel" not found.
Rather than a beep, A stillness over all things, Only these words: "File not found."
Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped.
You step in the stream, but the water has moved on. This page is not here.
Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that.
Seeing my great fault Through darkening blue windows I begin again.
Aborted effort. Close all that you have. You ask far too much.
Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank
Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams.
Chaos reigns within Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return.
The ten thousand things How long do any persist? Netscape, too, has gone.
Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down.
Errors have occurred. We won't tell you where or why. Lazy programmers.
The Web site you seek cannot be located. But endless others exist.
To have no errors Would be life without meaning No struggle, no joy
Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will.
It has been argued that most of the great strides in theoretical physics had already been made as the twentieth century comes to a close. Yet, a neglected area of study are the physics governing behavior in cartoon land. Below is a codification of some of the physical regularities governing that universe.
Traditional proverbs made relevant for modern living. All written by first-graders.